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HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    “DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
    “What?”
    “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

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NYC Squirrel Whisperer and Crazy Lady Encounter – Watch more Free Videos

This lady just wanted to feed the squirrels… and then Bike Man shows up! Only in New York!

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Another Wii Sports Casualty – Watch more Free Videos

Yeah, cause tapping on it is going to help… What a Dumbass!

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Umm, do I need to even comment on this?  She is about to turn 40… I’d still hit 6 ways till Tuesday.  Rachael Green.. can I be your friend??  Here are some pics from her GQ shoot.

This one is older but still just as yummy!

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Ok, since I come across a chick every now and then that makes pants catch fire, I figured I have would share this with you guys.  I never heard of her but I definitely want to hear of her now.  She is smoking… let the drooling commence.

Get your own box of Kleenex…

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Ok, you know damn straight that the ride home from the airport will be one she will never forget!  That’s too funny…

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Toilet Paper Direct Hit From Fifth Floor – Watch more Free Videos

That’s got to suck!

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This video seriously makes me question my choice of career path. Imagine what it would be like to be in control of one of those things. Impressive!

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What’s cooler than being cool? How bout some senior’s bustin a cap off in yo ass….

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